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Why I’m Not A Fan Of Online Dating

Sometimes, I feel like all I talk about is dating and relationships, especially depending on who I am around on any particular day. When I first set out to write my own blog, that wasn’t my intention at all, but rather to have a place to just express whatever was on my mind, and help keep me occupied while I figured out some things about myself instead of trying to date.

For some people online dating seems to work quite well.  My best friend Heather met her husband on Match.com, and they are happily married as far as I can tell. Knowing how well it worked out for my friend, I decided to create a new profile after becoming single once again.

I’ve had a profile online twice now (one recently, and one about five years ago), and both times I just felt like it was a waste of time and energy. I wrote what I thought was an okay profile, put some pictures up, and then just waited for some e-mails. I did manage to get a decent amount of messages while my membership was active, but never from anyone who seemed to fit my standards. I would get to the point where we’d e-mail a few times, exchange phone numbers and even setup a date or time to meet, but I never managed to meet anyone special enough to go out with on more than that first date.

One of my biggest complaints about online dating is the system used to create your matches. It seemed like I would have e-mails or winks on a regular basis from men much older or younger than I was willing to even consider dating, and it was pretty irritating to have to sort those out from my inbox. I thought the point of setting guidelines for who you were searching for would eliminate people outside of those limits, but somehow they still would come up as daily matches occasionally.

A few months back, I decided to let my membership on Match expire, but have not actually hidden or taken down the profile, yet. I spent some time revamping my profile about two weeks before the expiration, kind of as a last-ditch effort at finding anyone decent, and for a few days I thought my efforts had paid off. I received quite a few nice e-mails in that short time, but still didn’t feel any real need to actually meet any of them. Maybe I missed an opportunity, but right now, I’m just not that interested in playing the online dating game.

From time to time, I will go check out my matches and see what new winks I’ve received, but that’s mostly just out of curiosity. Even though it doesn’t really matter at this point, I think the revisions I made were worthwhile, as I can go a week or longer without checking, and will still manage to have several new messages or winks when I do get around to signing back in. Not being a paying subscriber does limit the experience, as I can see how many messages are waiting, but have no idea who they are from or what they say.

I live somewhat vicariously through my friend and co-worker Chelly, who seems to be having a decent time in her endeavors at online dating. I like to hear about the guys she’s talked to or gone out with, and am glad that she is enjoying the process. Hopefully, she will be one of the lucky ones who does meet someone fantastic.

Maybe at some point I’ll go back into the online dating scene, but I’m actually enjoying the break for now.

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