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World’s Worst Pickup Line

Over the years, I’ve heard a myriad of pickup lines- some aimed at me, and others I have overheard being used on friends.

I think the general rule for pickup lines is there should be an element of cheesiness, but still be able to convey your interest and hopefully make the recipient respond in a positive manner.

With that being said, over the weekend I was subjected to what could quite possibly be the world’s worst pickup line ever.

While at work on a relatively slow Saturday afternoon, I encountered a customer who needed some help with his phone, which is a major part of my job as I work in the tech department. Somehow this guy managed to do something to his phone which caused it to be frozen on one screen, and the only solution to fix the problem involved resetting it back to the factory settings- thereby deleting all of the stored data. He was a little upset, but fortunately all of his 3000 contacts were backed up to his e-mail account, and I offered to keep an eye on the progress to make sure that the issue was actually fixed.

That was my big mistake in this scenario.

I assumed that at this point he would go off and run some errands, because watching the status bar is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Somehow he must have interpreted my offer of helping out as an invitation to hang around and start hitting on me. One of my biggest pet peeves is being hit on while at work, as I feel there is a time and place for that, but someone’s workplace is neither of those.

At first, I thought he was just trying to make conversation to pass the time, so I feigned interest in his story about how his girlfriend was going to be very upset about not being able to make contact for the duration of the phone issue. Shortly after revealing this information, he started trying to solicit advice about what to do in this situation, while at the same time trying to get personal information about my current relationship (or lack thereof) status from me.

It had been a while since I’ve had to deflect personal questions like that at work, so he caught me off guard and I wasn’t prepared with a good story to make him drop the line of questioning and hopefully just go away.

Despite my lack of preparedness, I still managed to mostly turn the questioning back to business related issues, but he did manage to sneak in what I would say is the worst pickup line ever. This line was so bad that when I shared it with someone else their response was wondering what his others were if that was his “best material.”

The line went something like this: “Wow, you must have a really hard time buying sunglasses,” to which my response was a confused “why?” And the response was then “because you have such long eyelashes they probably rub against the lenses.”

I have a hard time believing that anyone would really be that observant to notice something as insignificant as the length of a woman’s eyelashes, so obviously this line was something he had thought of well in advance to use whenever the opportunity presented itself.

What do you think, is this the worst pickup line, or have you heard (or used) something even more ridiculous?

Responses (2)

  1. JT says:

    Getting hit on at work? Totally not cool. No one wants or needs that kind of distraction. For whatever reason, men think that women at work are bored and want to flirt a bit. One of my coworkers was called repeatedly – I mean 8 or 9 times in a row – by a guy who had an old or wrong number. I told her if he called back to transfer him to me. She did. I picked up and simply said “Security. This is Mike.” He didn’t call back.

    The worst pickup line I’ve ever gotten was “Look! I can bite my own ear!” which was followed by a failed demonstration. I don’t know which was worse – the bizarre nature of the claim, or that she couldn’t actually do it.

    • Katy says:

      At this point I’m used to sometimes getting hit on at work, and honestly have participated at times in the past with the flirtations. I have a pretty strong stance on NOT dating co-workers, which is not something I hide, so I think the other flirting parties knew it was just for fun/to pass the time. Since I work with the public there are times when total strangers will try to cross that line and ask me out or flirt (usually very poorly), but that’s also mostly harmless and just annoying for a short time.

      That pickup line about a girl being able to bite her own ear is hilarious! Do you think she actually thought that would be “sexy”? It just seems like a weird “talent” to try to have…certainly there are better “stupid human tricks” (I think that’s the right name for that kind of thing, right?) that she could have tried to master.

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