logo image

Pet Peeve #11: People Who Send Rude or Threatening Emails in an Effort to Score a Date or Start a Conversation

Over the last several weeks, I’ve taken a giant step back from the whole online scene, and in particular online dating.

I noticed I was spending too much time concentrating on unimportant things and not enough being focused on making myself better. I still probably spend too much time browsing the web, but at least now I hope the things I share or post actually mean something.

Onto the dating issue.

I’ve decided that instead of actively seeking out dates, I’m letting things take a more natural course– hopefully–and just being more open to spontaneity. I know life isn’t scripted like a rom-com,  but maybe putting a halt on actively searching for Mr. Right will open my eyes to some new experiences and be able to meet someone special when I’m least expecting it.

That being said, I still have a profile up on one dating site,  but I rarely sign in to look at the prospects this automated system is sending me. If I receive new messages ,I’ll sign in to read them and view the profile of the message sender.

The screening process I’m currently using probably isn’t that different from others who have gone the online dating route: if I’m not interested, I just delete and go on my way. If someone stands out with the message AND with their profile, then and only then, will I reply.

Over the last couple of weeks–since I adopted this new practice– I’ve received some interesting messages, which can only truly be described as downright rude.

One guy, after I didn’t reply to his initial “hey girl, let’s get together and get it on” message sent a follow-up, which was something along the lines of “I didn’t think YOU’D be the type of girl to not even send a reply that you aren’t interested” and it went on for several more sentences pretty much saying the same thing and other rude things, which I’m not comfortable repeating or sharing here.

My response to this guy was simply deleting his messages, and flagging his account as someone I’d prefer to not contact me again. Ever.

I did have to share the nitty-gritty message with a couple of my closest girlfriends, and we had a few chuckles at how ridiculous some people can be.

When did it become ok to be a total toolbag in sending out emails for a prospective date? Did this guy (and others like him) really think that by sending a rude message I would suddenly change my mind and want to date him?

He isn’t the first who have tried the “let’s start a debate about why you should date me” tactic, and I’m sure it’s not the last I’ll receive along those lines.

It’s annoying and really confuses me as to why some people think it’s a good idea to send a message like that.

Sure, I’ve sent some things I wish I could take back, but lately I’ve gotten so many of these types of messages I couldn’t hold these thoughts in to myself any longer.

I’ve been trying to keep my dating life off of my blog, but since I’ll never date these men, and have removed the link to here from my profile, I’m not worried that they (or other potential love interests) will read this and be offended.

On a side note, deciding to remove the link to my blog was a tough choice, as while I enjoy having new readers and sharing my thoughts with others, I realized having such a direct line into some of my most private thoughts for someone I’d potentially date puts me at a huge disadvantage unless they are also a sharing a personal blog, or the same amount of information, so I’m willing to sacrifice blog hits for a small level of privacy in that part of my life.

If you’ve ever been the recipient of these types of messages, how did you react or respond? Is this a normal practice in the online dating scene?

Because if so, I’m over it.  The creep factor with that kind of behavior is off the charts in my book, and anyone who regularly practices such activity makes me question whether any “good guys” even exist out there in the dating world anymore.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: