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Yes, Please: When Real Life Conversations Turn Out Better Than You Imagined

Whenever I’m faced with having a conversation that might be challenging (talks with co-workers or bosses about unpleasant things), or meeting someone for the first time in real life (online dating guys), I often get a little worked up wondering how the conversation will turn out or the meeting will go.

In my head I try to go over every possible scenario to prepare myself, and am always pleasantly surprised when my idea of a “best case scenario” happens, or in some cases that the outcome is better than I ever would have hoped.

I’ve learned the hard way that what someone says via email or text is not always a fair estimate of how they will be in person, so I’ve learned to always go into such situations as meeting a potential date for the first time with pretty low expectations.

A few times, my suspicions were correct, and despite having great rapport when typing out our words, the verbal connection just wasn’t there, and I was glad for not getting my hopes up about the meeting.

Recently I was surprised with the exact opposite: I met up with a date who I assumed would turn out to be a terrible conversationalist based off of emails and text messages, but in person our conversation flowed so naturally it almost seemed like he was a completely different person. Instead of resorting to my backup list of prepared topics to discuss, we branched out into a multitude of new topics I hadn’t even thought about in advance.

Because of this recent good experience I’ve started to wonder if I’ve maybe not given an entirely fair chance to other men who didn’t instantly catch my attention with their written conversation, and going forward I might need to institute some type of system or rule that will help me keep an open mind in those situations. Even if no romantic connection is made, I figure it can’t hurt to make new friends and network along the way.

Similar to the online dates turning out to be a better conversationalist is the sheer joy I experience when I’m faced with speaking to a co-worker about something that I fully expected to be met with opposition, only to learn they are understanding and fine with whatever I’ve proposed.

It doesn’t happen often that the real life conversations turn out better than I’ve pictured, but when they do, I always make a point to remember as much about the situation as possible, not only to look back on the day with warm fuzzies, but also in case I need to replicate a similar conversation in the future.

Has this ever happened to you?

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