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An Evening Without Facebook: A True Tale of Survival

Whenever new software updates come out for phones– specifically the iPhone– I always try to download and install them as quickly as possible. Partly because it helps me at work to know what issues may arise from the changes, but mostly because I just want to have the latest technology right at my fingertips.

Missing from my main screen was the familiar "F," which normally lives next door to the App Store icon.

Missing from my main screen was the familiar “F,” which normally lives next door to the App Store icon.

After months of anticipation, Apple finally released iOS 7 today, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t  spend part of my morning while at work hitting the refresh button on my phone, in hopes that the update would soon be available to download.

As soon as the notification popped up telling me the time was at hand, I went through the steps to update my devices. The process took a little longer than I wanted (or expected), and I had to jump through some hoops to install the new software– a story best left for another day– but eventually, I was able to see what all of the hype with this new magical software was about.

I was dazzled by how pretty the new design looked on my old phone, but noticed that only a handful of my apps had appearance changes, and the old version of the app logos just looked strange sitting next to a redesigned one on my screen.

This difference in appearance of something as trivial as an app logo really bugged me, and is mostly likely to blame for the loss of one of my most used applications on my phone: Facebook.

For most of the outdated looking ones, I was able to play the whole “out of sight” trick on myself, and created a bunch of folders to hide the ugly apps, but for ones that I use multiple times a day (like Facebook), I knew that would not be a good solution as I would quickly tire of having to take an extra step to open the program instead of just being able to tap the main screen on my phone and have instant access.

Instead of being patient and waiting for the updates to come to me for my silly social networking apps, I once again played the game of constantly checking for updates–which I put on hold for a few hours this evening to socialize and play board games with friends– but still the knowledge that an eyesore awaited me on my phone gnawed away at my focus, and I knew as soon as I was back in the privacy of my own apartment I would do whatever I had to do to make the app update to the more aesthetically pleasing version.

Almost ready to admit defeat to my phone, I checked one last time for an update before calling it quits for the night, and sweet success!, an update was finally available! Immediately I downloaded it and quickly realized something was wrong.

Instead of being able to open the program, I was left with just a picture of the app on my home screen that did not respond to any touches. Clearly that only frustrated me more, but I was confident I could still fix it. (Usually these little technology hiccups can be fixed by closing programs and restarting the device, which I promptly did, but that only made it worse, as the icon disappeared completely but the phone still thinks it is installed.)

Frustrated beyond all belief, I saw only one way out of this predicament: time to enter survival mode and break out my laptop as a last resort.

It had already been an excruciatingly long 3 minutes already, so I knew time was of the essence, and was grateful that I didn’t need to take a few precious extra seconds stripping down to fashion a loincloth or making a signal fire– one of the perks of living alone is that no one complains when I strip down to the barest of necessities immediately after walking in the door– so I quickly set to work on the laptop with the phone connected.

I’m pretty sure time simply stopped while I fixed the mystery of the missing Facebook app, as it seemed like an eternity passed before the familiar (but now much prettier) logo reappeared on my phone’s screen.

With a sigh of relief, I opened the app to make sure it worked, and then realized that there was nothing I really wanted to see or post on Facebook anyway tonight.

And, sure I could have just accessed the site on my laptop at any point during this harrowing ordeal, but that would have felt like cheating. Despite the few times when I thought I might not make it, I was proud to say that I managed to make it through this terrible ordeal in one piece.


One Response

  1. The Asshole savant says:

    The new Facebook app is horrible. The jury here is still out on ios7. I’m not a fan so far.

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